Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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