Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
