It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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