we have officially lost it.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
