I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
