Midget sex pt 2 tonight
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
