Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
