His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
