a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize