He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
