just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
