this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
