The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Umm I'm too high to move.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
