my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
