I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
