its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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