U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
