btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize