all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
