The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
