And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
