I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
