OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
