capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
