I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
