So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize