well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
