so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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