Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i drank out of a bidet.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
