dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
