I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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