butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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