How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I can't turn off my feet"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
