feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
40s are totally the cure
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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