Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
