I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So much rum. So many feels.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
