I CAN MOONWALK!
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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