It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
