She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize