do herpes really smell.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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