So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
