she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
