i don't like sucking hair
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
