we made out on top of his cat.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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