i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
