I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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