I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
