That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
