she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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