I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize