dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
