She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
