I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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