its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
