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I could have mohawked her pubes.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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