i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i think i scared a bird with my dick
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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